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My weekly column "Why Is That?" explores life's good, bad and ludicrous sides.

Contact me: divoteer@icloud.com

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​​​​Terry Martin Ph.D​

Cartoon Corner

Reflections on Life


​​​​​​​​June 23, 2018  I read that June 21st was National Selfie Day.
I find that depressing. I come from the box camera era. Box cameras were fat and lumpy. The film–eight pictures to a roll–was black and white. Family albums consisted of people in weird outfits mugging for the camera. My favorites were bathing beauties at the beach in one-piece bathing suits. Bikinis hadn’t been invented. Grandma stayed home, her bathing suit had a hole in the knee.
Geez, I’ve seen everything from box cameras to smartphones, B&Ws to selfies. In between were the joys of color film, slides, my Minolta camera and learning to develop ‘an eye’ for the perfect shot.
Coming from the Midwest I’m familiar with fall foliage, heck my street lit up with color in October. But there is nothing like a photo journey to New England, a flight to Boston and 10 days of aimless driving admiring Mother Nature’s annual explosion of color. The photos I took stack up pretty well against abrupt selfies with celebrities. "Look everybody, that’s me with George Clooney at Spago in Maui–see the spinach stuck to his teeth? Can’t wait to post it on my Facebook page."
At my age it’s fruitless to take selfies. First of all I’m not interested in telling people in France and Belgium about my daily doings. Besides, the people I hang with are so wrinkled that they should wear burkas–and those are the men.
It’s okay if the younger generation displays their lives. Hey show me a picture of your car and I’ll show you a picture of my walker. 

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Bob Cayne

​​​​​​​June 23, 2018 Negative thinking is the cornerstone of anxiety disorders. Many patients suffer from anxious, irrational thinking. They may know their thoughts are irrational, yet they try to convince themselves otherwise.
Without counseling those dealing with anxiety may blame it on a deadly disease because their mind thinks, “this cannot be happening.” That results in a low quality of life. Sometimes a person’s thoughts are instinctive and well hidden; they don’t realize they are having them. 
So, how can psychological counseling help patients with their anxiety? 

Anxiety that is caused by a toxic relationship, job-related problem or a bad environment drains your energy and leaves you exhausted. When your health and emotional wellbeing suffer the anxiety is elevated.
In relationships, no matter what your partner does or how much they try to help, you are unlikely to change. At work, if you keep your head down and try to get on with your job, a toxic work environment is not going to change. Over time you will become someone even you can’t recognize. Trust your intuition jump ship before you are too weak to leave. 
Manipulation gives toxic people power. They twist words so they are in control. They make you feel guilty if you don’t do what they ask or if you don’t agree with their point of view.
Anxious and toxic people both seek and maintain power by convincing other that they are not doing enough, nor are they doing things correctly. They feel cheated so you should feel guilty.
You are not responsible for someone else’s problems. Don’t allow a manipulative person intensify negative feelings. Being alone is often better for you than being with a boss, partner or relative that drains your energy. You are not powerless. Remove yourself from toxic events, issues and people.

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Bob Cayne